For Christmas this year, our family went together and bought us a video game system. My wife and I don’t really like video games, but we want it because of the training program we’ve heard. It is a gift, but we use it every day, sometimes several times a day. By using a fitness program, our bodies get better and start losing weight. It was a gift that had been used repeatedly which greatly benefited us both; a gift that keeps giving. Our families also pay attention to differences in us that make them happier because they buy gifts.
Whether you realize it or not, you are a gift from God to your partner: a gift that he wants to use repeatedly to help your partner become what God wants him to be. You will have an impact on your partner in one way or another, in a positive or negative way. Do you help push and build them or do you lower them?
I have learned that if I accidentally build and encourage my wife, I usually don’t. When I did not, it inhibited his growth from becoming what God wanted him to be. But every day and week, when I intend to encourage him, serve him, and try to build it, he begins to develop. My focus needs to be on him and not myself if I become the gift that God wants.
Maybe there are some pushes back that say what about me? Isn’t my husband a gift from God for me? Why not focus at least a little on what they can do for me?
The answer is, if we are not careful, we can fall into the trap of thinking that our partners are people who must meet our needs. The truth is that GOD fulfills our needs and has chosen to achieve them through our partners. If you are looking for a partner to meet your needs, you will often be disappointed and frustrated. God’s desire is that we look at him and trust him to fulfill our needs and at the same time understand that he will fulfill them in time and manner. Read also: 50th wedding anniversary gifts for parents
If your partner does not meet certain needs, God wants you to discuss it and not try to meet your needs and time. When you choose to give all your needs and desires to God and be a gift to your partner as God wants you to, you open the door for God to work in you and your partner in an extraordinary way. If your partner doesn’t get it and won’t meet your needs, but you learn to see God as your source, you have got something that many believers don’t have, deep and lasting intimacy with God. But if you continue to be God’s gift to your partner and they begin to respond in the same way, you get the best of both worlds.
There is joy found in giving gifts, but I also find that there is great joy in being the gift God wants. When I saw the person who became my wife, and realized that God designed me and used me to make it happen, it made me excited. My wife did not only grow when I was a gift that God wanted, but I also grew. It’s not always easy to be the right kind of gift, but it’s very valuable. The key is not only a one-time gift, but really a gift that keeps giving.
Timothy Brown has served for more than 30 years and has been married to his wife for more than 30 years. He has a desire to help other married couples strengthen their marriage.